Stevie's Adventures of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
by altoncoates15
Summary: The fourth graders of South Park sneak into an R-rated film by ultra-vulgar Canadian television personalities Terrance and Phillip , and emerge with expanded vocabularies that leave their parents and teachers scandalized.
1. Chapter One

This a story about In this feature film based on the hit animated series, Stevie and the fourth graders of South Park sneak into an R-rated film by ultra-vulgar Canadian television personalities Terrance and Phillip, and emerge with expanded vocabularies that leave their parents and teachers scandalized. When outraged Americans try to censor the film, the controversy becomes a call to war with Canada, and Terrance and Phillip end up on death row - with only the kids left to save them.

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Profile:

Name: Stevie Anderson (Full Name: Steven Jonathan Anderson, Jr.)

Age: 10

Hometown: South Park, Colorado

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: African-American and 16th Seminole

Eye Color: Brown

Occupation: Student

Grade: 4th

Religion: Christian

Personality: Hip, Laid-Back, Street-Smart, Athletic and Sometimes Book-Smart

Description of Stevie: An African American Boy who wearing Cornrows, Black and Grey Letterman Jacket with a Letter "S", Black Pants, Black Timberland Boots, Gray Gloves, Leather African Medallion and Black Skull Cap. Stevie born and raised in South Park, he has a father (Johnny Anderson - Age 35), mother (Regina - Age 34), two sisters (Older; Jasmine - Age 14 and Younger; Tiffany -Age 8) and one brother (Oldest; Dwayne - Age 12), and also he has friends in the same age as Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters to hangout the most.

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 **Disclaimer: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS MOVIE-EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE-ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES ARE IMPERSONATED...POORLY. THE FOLLOWING MOVIE CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE.**

 **Another Disclaimer: I don't own the movie, TV Show and movie characters except Stevie Anderson and his family as a OC character. This Movie and Characters belongs to Comedy Central and Viacom/Paramount.**

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In the city of South Park, Colorado, USA, as you can see the South Park's mountain range and the sign of South Park. It shows to the front of the Marsh residence house. Stan exits his house and heads towards town. He scoops up some snow and tosses it in the air, then dances as it falls on him. As he passes by TELE'S, various episodes of Terrance and Phillip play on the televisions behind the window. Then he runs into a man carrying a box full of stuff, then moves on.

Stan: (relaxed) There's a bunch of birds in the sky, and some deers just went running by. Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth, rich and brown! Just

Another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town. (Brisk) The sun is shining and the grass is green under the three feet of snow, I mean. This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown! All the happy people stop to say "hello,"

Townsman:Get out of my way!

Stan: Even though the temperature's low. It's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town.

(Stan crosses the street and reaches Tom's Rhinoplasty, where his mom, Sharon, works as the receptionist. He shows her a movie ad)

Sharon: Well, good morning, Stan!

Stan: Mom can I have eight dollars to see a movie?

Sharon: A movie?

Stan: Yeah. It's gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film, from Canada.

Sharon: All right, here you go. But be back for supper!

Stan: Thanks, mom!

(He leaves and walks brightly down the street. She watches him until he reaches Stevie's house, then returns to work)

Sharon: (singing) Oh, what a picture-perfect child! Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild. He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown. What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure. And a mind so open and pure. Thank God we live in this quiet redneck mountain town.

(Stevie's house. Stan walk up and knocks)

Stan: Hey, Stevie!

Stevie: (Opens the door) Yo, Stan. Sup, nigga. (Handshake to Stevie)

Stan: Just chillin', Dude. The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come and see it today?

Stevie: You know it. Hang on for sec. (Yells out his mother) Hey, ma! I'm goin' out to the movie with my friends! I'll be back in the while!

Regina: Okay! Have a good time!

Johnny.: But be back for dinner, son.

Stevie: Alright, Pop! (To Stevie) Hey, let's go get Kenny, bruh.

Stan: Cool.

Regina: (singing) Oh, what a picture-perfect child!

Johnny.: (singing) Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild.

Tiffany: (singing) He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown.

Jasmine: (singing) What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure.

Dwayne: (singing) And a mind so open and pure.

The Anderson Family: (singing) Thank God we live in this quiet redneck mountain town.

Kenny's house. Stan and Stevie walk up and knocks.

Stan: Dude! Dude, wake up!

Kenny rises and gets dressed.

Stevie Kenny, come on!

Kenny: (tightens his hood) (Coming!)

Stan: Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come?

Stevie: It's gonna be off the hook, dawg.

Kenny: (Yeah, dudes. Come on, let's go.) (they walk away...)

Carol: (appearing at the door) Where do you think you're going?

Kenny: (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.)

Carol: You can't! You have to go to church!

Kenny: (But, Mom, I wanna see this movie!)

Carol: Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!

Kenny: (...Okay!)

Stan, Stevie and Kenny walk away and step over a homeless man on the street. They pass the church they should have gone into for Sunday services.

Stan: (singing) You can see your breath hanging in the air.

Stevie: (rapping) You see homeless people, but you just don't care. It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown!

Kenny: (singing muffled) (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day and that I'm glad I can say)

Stevie: (singing) That's right! It's Sunday morning (with church choir) in our quiet little white-bred redneck mountain town!

Butters' house. Stan, Stevie and Stevie walk up and knocks.

Stevie: (Yelling) Yo, Butters!

Butters opens the window and stick his head on his window.

Butters: Hey, Stevie! Hey, Stan! Hey, Kenny! How's a goin'?

Stan: Hey, Butters. Do you want to see the movie?

Kenny: (The Terrance and Phillip Movie is out today.)

Butters: Okay! Hey, Mom! Dad! I'm going out to the movies with my friends. Can I go please?

Linda: Okay, Butters. But be back before supper. Okay?

Butters: (Leaves the house) Okay.

Stephen: (Stephen comes out) If you not back home by before supper time, you are grounded, young man!

Butters: Okay.

Stephen: Have a good time.

Butters: Okay, Dad! Bye!

Kyle's house while Kyle plays with Ike outside the house.

Ike: Bah bah bababah!

Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

Ike: Don't kick the baby.

Kyle: Kick the baby. (kicks Ike through the window, and Ike squeals with delight)

Sheila: Ike! You broke another window! That's a bad baby! Baaad baby!

Stan, Stevie, Butters and Kenny reach Kyle's house.

Stan: Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie! (shows Kyle the movie ad)

Kyle: Oh my God, dude! (begins to walk away with Stan and Kenny)

Stevie: Hell yeah, nigga! (Handshake to Kyle)

Sheila: Kyle, where are you going?!

Kyle: Uh...We're going ice-skating.

Sheila: Well, take your little brother out with you.

Kyle: Aw, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted.

Sheila: Do as I say, Kyle!

Kyle: Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

The boys leave, and Sheila goes back in and begins to sing. Near the end of her part she dances across the living room and ends with a high kick as Gerald reads the morning paper.

Sheila: (singing) Look at those frail and fragile boys, it really gets me down. The world is such a rotten place, and city life's a complete disgrace! That's why I moved to this redneck meshuggeneh qui-et moun-tain town! (Ike flies through the other window) Ike! Bad baby! (he hops out and away)

Ike: Tay for a bah.

Cartman watches TV and munches on Cheesy Poofs.

Announcer: This program is brought to you by Snacky S'mores, the creamy fun of s'mores in a delightful cookie crunch. (the doorbell rings)

Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the door!

Liane: Coming, hon. (passes by in front of him)

Cartman: Ay! Can't see the TV!

Tom Pusslicker: It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him.

Liane: Oh, look, Eric. It's your little friends. (the boys enter)

Butters: Hi, Eric!

Stevie: What up, Cart-man!

Ike: Cartman!

Cartman: What are you guys doing here?! (they show him the movie ad) Oh, sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!

[All six boys now head for the theater]

The boys: (regal, quickening and singing) Off to the movies we shall go, where we learn everything that we know, 'cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete, (slowing) 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet!

Cartman: (spoken) Super sweet!

Butters: (falsetto) I love it!

Stevie: (imitating Dr. Dre) Hell, yeah!

The boys: Thank God we live in a quiet little redneck podunk white-trash

Kenny: (Kenny!)

The boys: U! S! A!

End of Chapter One.

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 **A/N: That's the end of Chapter one of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. When Stevie and his friends on their way to the movie theater to see The Terrance and Phillip movie and they're excited to see the movie as well. Well, that's the end of chapter for now and we're looking for to see the next chapter soon. Be sure to read and review this chapter. We're outta of time. Until next time, fans. See ya!**


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: I don't own the movie, TV Show and movie characters except Stevie Anderson and his family as a OC character. This Movie and Characters belongs to Comedy Central and Viacom/Paramount.**

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The boys made it to the movie theater to see Terrence and Phillip: Asses of fire but the clerk refuses to let the boys in to see the movie, because this movie is rated R.

Stan: (Now at the ticket booth) Can I have seven tickets to Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire, please?

Clerk: No!

There is brief silence as the music dies down at his response.

Stevie: What, nigga?!

Kyle: What do you mean, no?

Clerk: Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. You have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.

Stevie: (whispers) Man, that bullshit.

Kyle: But why?

Clerk: Because this movie has naughty language! Next, please! (three bigger kids move up in line and buy their tickets)

Stan: This...this can't be happening!

Kyle:We have to see this movie, dude!

Stevie: This ain't right.

Cartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.

Butters: I agree with Eric, guys. Let's try something else.

Kyle: Guys, what are you talking about? You two love Terrance and Phillip!

Stevie: Yeah. Me too, dawgs.

Cartman: Yeah, but the animation's all crappy.

Thhe boys sadly begin walking away but they have an idea. They going to go get the bum and sneak in the movie anyway.

Stan: Wait, I've got an idea...

Stevie: How you gonna do that, Stan my main man?

Stan: Just leave it to me, Stevie my main man.

The Bijou ticket booth. The boys are back, this time with the bum Stan and Kenny hopped over earlier. He holds their money.

Bum: Uh, hi...I want eight tickets to Asses of Fire.

Clerk: Sir, this movie might not be appropriate for your little ones.

Bum: (to Stan) Hey, guys. He says this movie isn't appropriate for you.

Stevie: (Angrily whispered) Let me tell you something, Mr. homeless guy, if you don't wanna buy us tickets right now, and not get your ten bucks, and not go buy yourself a bottle of vodka or beer, then be my guest. (Balls up his fist) I'll whup your motherfuckin' ass, nigga.

Bum: Okay. Okay. Eight tickets, please. (the clerk rings them up)

The theater, inside. The boys sit in the front row. They have their treats, but Cartman is practically buried under his. The bum is not with them.

Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman!

Cartman: Oh, let's see, (looks over his stash) uh, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. (to Stevie) I don't got no black candy for you, Stevie.

Kyle: Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!

Stevie: And Don't worry about my shit, fat ass! (to Kyle) Hey, Kyle. You can have some of my M&M's peanuts. I already got mine. (Gives him a M&M's)

Kyle: Thanks, dude.

Butters: Thank god that I brought my own snacks from the stand. And I paid for it too.

Stevie: (to Butters) Me too, bruh.

Ike: Ba-ba-ba-ba.

Stan: Shh, the movie's starting!

A large ass appears on screen wearing shorts, with the film title appearing over it. Terrance and Phillip are then shown.

The boys: Hooray!

Stevie: Hell, yeah.

Phillip: Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?

Terrance:I don't know, Phillip, what? (Phillip farts on Terrance's face, and both get into hysterics over it)

Stan: Where do they come up with this stuff?

Terrance:You're such a pigfucker, Phillip!

Kyle: (the boys gasp) What did he say?

Stevie: He said Pigfucker.

Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pigfucker?

Terrance:Well, let's see, first of all, you fuck pigs!

Phillip: (thinks) Oh yeah! (both giggle)

Terrance:Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch! (both giggle)

Phillip: Oh, you shit-faced cock-master!

The boys: (awestruck) Wow!

Stevie: (awestruck) Damn!

Cartman: Shit-faced cock-master...

Terrance: Listen, you donkey-raping shit-eater...

Kyle: Donkey-raping shit-eater...

Ike: Dobee babing sheet-eater.

Terrance: You'd fuck your uncle!

Phillip: You'd fuck your uncle!

Terrance: (singing) Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! You're a cock-sucking ass-licking uncle fucka! You're an uncle fucka, yes, it's true! Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!

Phillip: (singing) Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka! You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, You just fuck your uncle all day long! (Terrance and Phillip break into a fart breakdown) Hm.

More farts, then they laugh. They fart their way out of the house and onto an intersection handled by a mountie. They dance and fart around him, raising his hat off his head several times.

Mountie: What's going on here? (Terrance and Phillip fart, then the mountie farts, then drivers around them fart as well. Audience members begin to rush out while the boys dance in their seats)

Woman: What garbage...

Man: Well, what do you expect? They're Canadian.

Choir: Uncle...Fucka...Uncle Fucka, Uncle Fucka Uncle...Fucka...'

By this time all the Canadians are dancing and farting wildly.

Terrance and Phillip: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! (Uncle fucka!) You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucka!

Terrance: You're an uncle fucka, I must say!

Phillip: Well, you fucked your uncle yesterday!

Terrance and Phillip: (Ha, ha, ha) Uncle fu-cka, that's U-N-C-L-E. Fuck you!mUncle fucka! (all freeze)

Phillip: (quick) Suck my balls.

Outside the theater. The text "3 HOURS LATER..." appears at the bottom of the screen. The doors open and the boys walk out and past the booth.

Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!

Butters: Asses of Fire is so fuckin' awesome.

Stevie: Goddamn. I fucking love the movie! Hell yeah, niggas! (High five to Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters and pat Ike's head)

Cartman: You bet your fucking ass it was!

Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrance and Phillip!

Clerk (sees them) Hey, wait a minute, where's your guardian?

Kyle: Huh..? (the six of them look at the clerk)

Stevie: What the fuck you talkin' about, fool?

Clerk: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you?

Brief silence.

Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater!

Farts and begins to walk away. The others follow.

Stevie: Suck my dick, you honky motherfucker.

Kyle: Yeah! Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!

The boys: You're an ass-licking ball-sucking uncle fucka!

End of Chapter Two.

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 **A/N: That's the end of Chapter two of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. When Stevie and his friends went to the movie theater to see Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire. But unfortunately, the boys are not allowed to see the movie under 17 because it's Rated R. Stan uses the bum to sneak in and then they paid for the movie. The boys saw the movie and learn the word (except Stevie because he used the word before). The boys loved the movie and they really enjoyed it. Well, that's the end of chapter for now and we're looking for to see the next chapter soon. Be sure to read and review this chapter and previous chapters. We're outta of time. Until next time, fans. Later.**


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: I don't own the movie, TV Show and movie characters except Stevie Anderson and his family as a OC character. This Movie and Characters belongs to Comedy Central and Viacom/Paramount.**

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Stark's Pond, afternoon. Many of the third graders skate over its frozen surface. Stan and his friends arrive and stand on the bank.

Clyde: (skates up to them) Hey, where have you guys been all day?

Stan: Oh, nowhere. We just went to go see the Terrance and Phillip movie.

Bebe: (all the kids turn and gasp, then crowd in on the boys) You already saw it?

Clyde: How'd you get in?

Butters: Yeah. You guys should see this-

Cartman: (Punches Butters before Butters can finish and interrupted him angrily) Shut the fuck up, Butters. Top serect.

Butters: Oh. Sorry about that.

Cartman: And you guys stop crowding us, you shit-faced cock-masters!

Kids: (awestruck) Wow!

Stan: Yeah, you're all a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers.

Kids: (impressed) Ooh...

Stevie: That's right, you cocksuckin' niggas.

Kids: (impressed) Ahh...

Clyde: (to Token) We have got to see this movie, dude.

Token: Yeah. I'm with you, man.

Craig: Hell, yeah! So am I.

Jimmy: Yeah, me too. This movie is gonna-this movie is gonna-this movie is gonna be-This movie is gonna be c-c-cool.

Timmy: Timmy!

Tweek: This movie is gonna be blast for me!

Kyle: Terrance and Phillip are Canadian, just like my brother.

Stan: (Wendy comes into view, and a song plays in his mind) There's the girl that I like...

Cartman: Hey, Stan, tell about when Terrance called Phillip a testicle shitting rectal wart.

Stan: Now, more than ever, she gives me butterflies. It makes my stomach queasy every time she walks by.

Cartman: Asshole, I'm talking to you!

Stan: I know I can be cool if I try.

Stan with the smile on his face. Wendy knows he's there and comes at him spinning in the air in a triple Lutz before landing before him. He gets ice all over his face.

Wendy: Hi, Stan!

Stan: Hi, Wendy!

Stevie: Sup, Wendy, my homegir?

Wendy: Hi, Stevie. (to Stan) Would you like to go skate with me? (he vomits on her) Gross!

Gregory: (skates up next to her) Come, Wendy, let us try to jump the hilly brush.

Stan: (dusts himself off) Who the fuck are you, kid?

Stevie: Yeah, nigga.

Gregory: My name is Gregory. I just transferred from Yardale, where I had a 4-0 grade point average. What's your name black man?

Stevie: Stevie, homeboy. So, what up, fool?

Wendy: Wanna skate with us?

Gregory: We've been skating all morning and laughing, and talking of memories' past.

Stan: We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.

Stevie: Yeah. Maybe you should watch the movie sometime, G.

Gregory: (aloof) Oh ho... Try and catch me, Wendy! (skates off)

Wendy: (sadly) Bye, Stan. Bye, Stevie. (turns and skates away slowly)

Stevie: (sighs) Later, Wendy. (to Stan) Bruh, she's outta your league. But look on the bright side, dawg. I'm pretty damn sure that I betcha you find some other fine ass honeys-

Stand cuts him off before he can finish.

Stan: (sighs) Don't even say that.

Cartman:Yes, yes, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Who wants to touch me?

Brief silence.

Cartman: I said who wants to fucking touch me?!

Butters: I can, Eric. [touches Cartman] Ooh.

Clyde: Come on, gang, we've gotta see the Terrance and Phillip movie, too!

The kids skate away, and only Cartman, Butters and Kenny remain.

Cartman: I hate you, Kenny. (to Butter) And fuck you too, Butters. (Kenny and Butters looks back in anger)

Butters: Whatever!

Mr. Garrison's classroom, Monday. The kids dance on their seats and sing away.

Kids: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucka! You're an un—

The doorknob turns and the students fall silent. Mr. Garrison enters the room.

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children, let's take our seats. We have a lot to learn today.

Wendy and Gregory sit next to each other in the back row. Stan looks at them from across the room.

Mr. Garrison: Okay, children, let's start the day with a few new math problems. (writes a problem on the board) What is 5 times 2? (no one answers at first) Come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot. (Clyde smiles and raises his hand)...Yes, Clyde?

Clyde: 12?

Students laughing at Clyde.

Mr. Garrison: Quiet, children! Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard...Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.

Kyle: (raises his hand) I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison.

Cartman: (mocking) I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison.

Kyle: (shoots back) Shut up, fat boy!

Stevie: (Shoot back) Yeah. shut up, fat boy and lose some weight!

Cartman: Ay! Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew and Nigger!

Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word and N-word?

Cartman:...Jew and Nigger?

Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat-ass!

Stevie: And you ain't supposed to say "nigger", Cartman. You that's fucking racist and offensive towards to the black people, you punk ass fool.

Mr. Garrison: Kyle! Steven!

Cartman: Why the fuck not?

Mr. Garrison: Eric!

Butters: (Laughing) They say fuck!

Cartman, Stevie and Kyle: Shut up, Butters!

Mr. Garrison: Leopold!

Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!

Mr. Garrison: Stanley!

Kenny: (Fuck.)

Mr. Garrison: Kenny!

Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck.

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?

Stevie: Cartman, chill out, dude!

Cartman: Shut up, Nigger. (to Mr. Garrison) How would you like to suck my balls? (the class gasps)

Mr. Garrison: (stunned) What did you say?!

Cartman:Oh, I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... (picks up a bullhorn, turns it on, and speaks) "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"

Mr. Garrison stands in shock.

Stevie: Oh, shit.

Stan: Holy shit, dude.

End of Chapter Three.

* * *

 **A/N: That's the end of Chapter two of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. Stevie and his friends tells the kids that they should see Terrance and Phillip: Asses on Fire. Poor Stan, Wendy hangs out with Gregory and Wendy doesn't have time for Stan. Stevie and his Friends swearing at classroom and Cartman started to say "Fuck" and so does everyone (Kyle, Stevie, Butters, Stan and Kenny). Cartman also swears at Mr. Garrison. Thanks to his big mouth. We're out of time. That's the end of chapter for now and we're looking for to see the next chapter soon. Be sure to read and review this chapter and previous chapters. We're outta of time. Until next time, fans. Au Revior.**


End file.
